Friday, May 11, 2012

Guest blogger: Dr. Tobin Chase

I have been extremely busy with work and interviewing printers for my "I Survived My Facebook Fast" t-shirts. Since I haven't had much time for blogging, I have invited a good friend and fellow writer, Dr. Tobin Chase, to share with us. -- Todd

My fellow Americans and people of Mother Earth, what in the wide world of sports is wrong with you???

Two days ago, North Carolina poo-pooed on Gay Marriages and Civil Unions. A lot of people are pissed about this. Mostly gay ones.

Before I continue, I think you need to know that I, myself, am not gay. If a dude looked like George Clooney with legs like Katie Couric, maybe. I don't know. He would have to be filthy rich, too. Cigarettes aren't getting any cheaper.

So why all the uproar? Gay people want to get legally hitched. So what??? The religious community has erupted in a mass of malcontent. People of Gawd, listen to me. Gay people are not asking you to rewrite Scripture. They are not asking to get into Heaven. They just want to have the legal right to wed like everyone else. If history has proven anything, it's that bigoted people always get pissed anytime some group other than white preachers and politicians want anything! (I'm not white, by the way, this is just a birthmark)

They made black people eat somewhere else, ride the back of the bus, and use separate bathrooms. They didn't want women to have an identity outside of the one they gave them. They massacred Jews. They scalped gays in college (Mitt Romney). Now they want to cry foul because gay people want to get married. Why are we singling out homosexuals this way? Because it's a sin? So is lying. Liars can no longer get married, then. Watch the divorce rate go up even more on that one! 

Imagine standing at the pearly gates waiting to get into Heaven. Saint Peter looks at you and says, "So...you have committed nearly every sin in the book. Your sin record is long and vile. Why should I let you in?"

You reply, humbly, "Well...I'm not a homosexual."

Saint Peter says, "Well come on in then!"

Preposterous. It's not like that, people.Sin is sin. Why do you champion some (greed, gluttony, bigotry, gossip, lying), and condemn others (homosexuality, pole-dancing)? It makes no sense, and frankly, makes you all look like morons. If you want to be taken seriously, start making frigging sense. That one is free.

Child molesters can get married. Why can't homos? What are you afraid of? You're afraid they're going to ask your church to marry them? God help us, you might have to sit by them!! This is not a church or even a Bible issue folks, it's an America issue. If we don't let these people get married, then we need to rewrite the Constitution, not the Bible. Just throw "inalienable human rights" out with the dirty bath water, and put the Iron Curtain back up.

They just want to get married, people. Not to you. Not to me. To each other. That's all they want.I doubt they would ask your preacher to marry them. They can get a Notary Public or someone at the courthouse. Relax...

Oh yeah, and in this midst of all this hoopla, President Obama "comes out" and says he now supports Gay Marriage, curiously close to the election, which he just might lose. Oh no! God help us! The sanctity of marriage is now at stake! People, you haven't believed a word this man has said since he took office. NOW you choose to believe him??? Why??? I'll tell you why. Because the media wants you to.

Here's a newsflash: you have a brain. Start using it. Stop letting the media do your thinking for you and think for yourself for a change. You just might like it. I do. It makes me tingle. Here's another newsflash (and you may want to sit down for this one): politicians will say ANYTHING to get elected. They always have, and they always will. Obama may actually be totally opposed to gay marriage, but if it will get him re-elected, he will publicly support it. Hell, so would I! So would YOU!  It's not about right or wrong in politics. It's about winning the blankety-blank election! Politicians don't care if gay people get married; they don't care if you have a job or benefits; they only care if they can champion your misery in order to get re-elected. Wake up and smell the political b.s., America. Use your frigging noggins! After you elect these people, they stop caring about you. They don't need you anymore. They tricked you, They won. I'm giving you pearls here, people.

My friend, and the kindly owner of this blog talks a lot about grace on here. I am not a believer, personally, but I do believe that Christians ought to be the nicest people in this gay marriage ordeal or any public ordeal. Otherwise what you believe is b.s., and I already think it is just by the way you people act. Recent events being no exception.

Todd knows where I stand, and now you do too.

I write because I can,

T. Chase