Monday, September 07, 2009

The Labor Day Paradox

The logic of the world continues to baffle me. The way that we just accept the things that we were taught and then pass these things on to our offspring without question raises a profound question: "Why?"

For example, to quote a witty observation, "Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?" It is a comical question, but to cynics like myself, it begs explanation. Logically, we should drive on a driveway and park on a parkway. That makes more sense to me. But they (the anonymous people who make this crap up) won't change it (whoever THEY are).

Another idiotic idiom we don't stop to ponder: Why do we say we are getting ON an airplane? I love to fly, but I am not getting on an airplane even if the flight were free of charge. I will, however, get IN the airplane. It seems to be much safer, and there may even be an in-flight movie to boot. To their credit (the THEY people again), it is not called an "ON-flight movie." Otherwise, I would have to pass.

Then, of course, here I sit, blogging on my day off, which is a little holiday called "Labor Day." On Labor Day, we honor labor by NOT working. That just makes PERFECT sense to me!

Shouldn't THEY change the name of the holiday to "Off Day," or perhaps, "NON-Labor Day?" I would even accept "ANTI-Labor Day." I would become a poster-child for such a holiday; my wife and children will vouch for that! Imagine, if you will, a day where Football, Clint Eastwood movies, and Star Trek and X-Files marathons play on TV all day! Furthermore, each time I finish a beer, another one magically appears! That sounds like a holiday to me!

The word "holiday" is another paradox in and of itself. It combines the words "Holy" and "Day." I suppose a day filled with perfect Man-TV and automatic beer regeneration seems to dispel the whole "holy day" concept, depending on your point of view, of course.

As we gently flitter back to reality, we are reminded that even with over 300 channels, nothing good is ever on TV, beer is a non-regenerating substance (well, maybe after 9 or 10 it is), and THEY seem content just to leave all this stuff as it is.

So, with that, my friends, I bid you a Happy Labor Day, however and wherever you may choose to celebrate it! As for me, I will be on my laptop. Or should I say, "AT my laptop?"

Whatever THEY decide.
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