Monday, June 30, 2008

Kickboxing For Dummies


Step One: Have an over-inflated confidence in your ability to hang with, say...the class.

Step Two: Put on your best Bruce Lee face and act like it doesn't hurt that much...really.

Step Three: Suppress those crying and vomiting urges. There will be plenty of time for that after class.

Step Four: Don't be terribly intimidated by the fact that even your earlobes are sweating.

Step Five: Please, oh please, don't break wind during the final stretches.

Step Six: Go back to class again on Wednesday and repeat.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

So Long, Sophie



Mere days after taking in Sophie and getting her vaccinated, she began to appear ill. Tracy took her back to the vet where it was discovered she has the parvo virus. She has been at the vet for several days now receiving fluids and 24 hour care.

All to no avail. Today Sophie was euthanized.

My guess is that Sophie's mother had parvo and passed it on to her litter. Rather than give the puppies proper care, the irresponsible redneck idiot dog owners just turned the puppies loose to quietly die in the woods somewhere.

From there Sophie made it to our home, where, all too briefly, she had a family and lots of love.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Remembering George Carlin 1937-2008

In my mind, George Carlin was the extreme side of me. I have always been sort of counter-culture and non-conforming, but not nearly to the extreme that he was.

He always seemed to say things that made me think, "Yeah, that's right." Although I wouldn't have verbalized the thought with the pure vulgarity for which he was best known.

For example, in his last HBO special, one of the first things he said was, "F--- Tiger Woods!" And I thought, "Yeah, that's right." But I wouldn't have said it. I am sick of Tiger Woods. So he is a great golfer. Big deal. According to George Carlin, golf is not even a sport; it's an act of lunacy.

"Any activity where you hit a ball with a crooked stick, and then walk after it, and hit it AGAIN, is no sport."

This weekend, I am going to record all of the Carlin HBO specials on my DVR, and enjoy watching them and celebrating my favorite comedian, and surely one of the true philosophers of my generation. Right up there with Fred Sanford and the Nature Boy Ric Flair.

R.I.P. George. Thank you for all of the laughs...especially the ones on flatulence!

"Do you remember as a kid the first time you farted in church...no wonder they call the seats 'pews'."

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

New Family Addition



It had to happen sooner or later. Yesterday I came home to:

"Look at the puppy we found? Can we keep it?"

With the look that only a dad adamantly opposed to anymore pets in our humble abode, I was about to utter those infamous, timeless phrases:

"Are you going to take care of it?"

"Who's going to get up with her during the night?"

"I have too many mouths to feed as it is."

"What will the cats think?"

Instead, I stood there with my manhood broken and uttered, "Of course we can keep her! Aw, wook at da widdle pup-pup!"

What can I say, I am a sap. I'm weak.

Tracy took her to the vet today where Sophie had her shots updated.

For the record, Sophie was found wandering on the side of the road. As I have documented before in my blog, we have a passion for rescuing animals.

Welcome Sophie to our rather large family.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I Ache, Therefore I Am

The last two days at the gym have been awesome. I have started working out with a group of young guys who are pushing me to my limit. In short, when I left the gym today, every muscle from my neck down was shaking. I will feel it tomorrow for sure, but I needed it.

In other news, I start school in August at Midlands Tech. I am going to pick up an Associates Degree in Computer Technology. This will open some good doors at work down the road. What's even better is that my out of pocket cost will be ZERO.

A Bowflex body and a free education. Not bad for a middle aged, overweight, ex-preacher, pro wrestling try-to-be, who married out of my league and has children who rock!

Speaking of which, Tracy and I, with our struggling credit, have been approved for our new home. In a nutshell, here is what happened:

It was Saturday at approximately 6:00 pm. We were on our way to yet another home place, only to find out they were closed. On a whim, I suggested a place close to the airport that we had talked about visiting before. We pull up and out the door walks Mr. Clarence Pope, a man who I have known for over 25 years. He pulled in a few favors, and we will soon be owners of a fine new home on Tracy's family land. (takes deep breath)

Most of my blogger pals will remember "The Pope." Fondly, I am certain.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

R.I.P. Tim Russert

We are all shocked at the very untimely passing of NBC's Tim Russert. His passion for politics and acute insights as a political analyst made him the best source for information. Tim helped us understand exactly what was going on in the complex world of politics.

I will miss him this November. As a nation, we are now politically dumber without the mind and wit of Tim Russert.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Weak One

After my first week of weightloss effort, I have dropped 5lbs. I hit the treadmill but two times last week. Not a good start, but a start nevertheless.

I thank Mot, PF, and Chuck for the encouragement.

Monday, June 02, 2008

And We're Off!

Day one of my lifestyle change has commenced. I hit the treadmill after work today, and it was great to work up a sweat. Tomorrow I will bring a book to read while I tread.

I have also decided to cut down meal portions and sweets. I am also going to take Nikita Koloff's advice and give myself a "cheat day," where I can eat what I want one day each week. It will probably be Sundays, since they serve Krispy Kreme before Connection Groups.

I feel very good about today. It will be a long uphill battle. Technically, for my age and height, I will need to drop 50 - 60 lbs. I will try to get to 10, then 20, then 30, etc. Then I will work on keeping it off.

Going forward, I will post only occasional updates, as I don't want this to become "Todd's Weight Loss Blog." If I feel I have something to share that may help someone (like Chuck does with the Dave Ramsay information), I will post it. I will be writing mostly about my weightloss in my moleskine journal (thanks Rick).

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Mid New Years Resolution Update



Alas and alack, I have failed thus far to lose the 30 lbs I set out to lose at the outset of 2008. Instead, I have gained 30. I feel awful and I am tired all the time. It is time to regain control of my body.

Tomorrow evening I will begin going to the fitness room at my plant. I am going to begin by using the treadmill 3 - 4 times a week. I am not going on a diet. I am going to cut back on portions and drink more water.

I weighed in this morning at 252 lbs, the most I have ever weighed in my life. I sense that this weight loss effort will be my most difficult ever. At least for the first month. I owe it to myself, my wife, and my children to get this weight off.

Prayers and encouragement are not only welcome, they are desperately needed.