At Times It Was Really Funny

My heart is simply shattered as I write this piece. I buried one of my very best friends on earth yesterday, Rick Stilwell (aka. Rickwell, aka. @RickCaffeinated). His sudden death on January 11, 2013 has not yet fully registered with me. It has been an incredibly surreal weekend. I cannot adequately describe the void that Rick has left on this earth. Nor can I adequately describe how much of an influence he was on my life. My heart goes out to his wife and college sweetheart, Vicki, and their two wonderful children, who now have to grow up without him. My heart simply aches for them. Yet I cannot ignore the reality that my heart aches for me, too. He was my friend, brother, and my rock in so many ways. For thirty years, I was privileged to know and love this man.

It all began in 1983 in Coach Payne’s P.E. class at Airport High School. I and my lifelong pal, Jay, were hanging out together as always, trying to be cool (I was trying...he was succeeding). The next thing I knew, this skinny kid with huge glasses started hanging around with us. I don’t even know where he came from. I was able to determine that his name was Rick. There was never a formal introduction. One day he was just there!

Jay, Frog & Rickwell, 2006

Wherever Jay and I went, he was there. To be honest, I was a little annoyed at first! Ha-ha! It wasn’t long, however, before we were all fast friends. We called ourselves, "Jay, Frog, and Rickwell." At the time, I had no idea that he would be one of my lifelong best friends. I also didn’t know that I had a date with destiny that Rick would unwittingly orchestrate. 

Right away I knew that Rick was a Christian. He was never shy about it. I had always sort of believed in God, but I saw a passion in Rick that I had never seen before. He invited me to church many times, and I politely declined each time. He was very persistent, however, and offered to pick me up at home and drive me to church. I finally agreed. To make a very long story short, it was at this church that I discovered Jesus and invited him into my heart on April 11, 1983. In this same church, Trinity Baptist, I made some close friendships that have lasted to this very day. I found a family of believers who loved and discipled me and a Pastor, Don Davis, who I adored and still do. I eventually received a call into full time ministry. I was ordained in 1997. Rick participated in the service. I have since pastored three churches and seen hundreds of people come to the Lord, here in the US and abroad.

All because of this skinny kid with glasses from P.E. class.

Rick was so much more to me. He was a steadfast friend. In nautical terms, he was my rudder. The rudder is the part of the boat that keeps it on a steady course. Rick was that for me in many ways. I have veered off course a few times in my life. Rick was always there to offer a word of encouragement, or, if necessary, a rebuke to help me get back on course. Sometimes we would “chat” online, and one of his favorite replies to me was “::smacks Todd on the head::.” If he was really trying to make a point, he would add, “::jumps out of chair and smacks Todd on the head::.”  He had his softer side, too. When it became public that my marriage was officially over, he sent me a text message that read, “It doesn’t matter to me who is or isn’t at fault. What I want you to know is that no matter what, I am on YOUR side, friend.” That meant so much to me at that time in my life.

What I loved most about Rick was that he was real. There was nothing showy or fake about him. He was who he was, and that was enough for him. He worked hard at loving and providing for his family. He was an upright man in every way. His example spoke as much about him (if not more) than anything else he said or wrote. He was a teacher and a discipler. It gave him such great joy to pour himself into others. Rick Stilwell made me want to be a better husband, father, friend, teacher, and writer. I owe so much of who and what I am (online and off) to his friendship. He would reply, “Bunk” to that statement. He never wanted attention or credit. It is true, nonetheless.

Rick was a forward-thinker. He didn’t think “outside the box.” Rick believed there was no box. He met each challenge as an opportunity to improve the world around him. He did a lot of this through social media. I can honestly say that Rick had definitely found his niche. He would be so proud of the now viral #LiveLikeRick movement that has risen from the ashes of his untimely death.

Finally, Rick was a deep thinker. For years he kept journals and blogs. I have never read his private journals. I am sure his family will treasure them. His blogs and other online posts will be greatly missed. He was all about connecting with others, either face to face or online through Facebook or Twitter. He lived for the conversations. Rick believed that it was more important to listen than to simply be heard. In this day where so many are rattling their sabers and raising their angry voices, perhaps a #LiveLikeRick lesson is in order.

For my fortieth birthday, Rick gave me my very first moleskine journal. In one of my recent moves, I had misplaced it. I rediscovered it recently, and I plan to use it to the full, or as Rick would say, “Crush It!” May we all strive to #LiveLikeRick, for in doing so, we will #LiveLikeJesus.

Rick, my friend, saying goodbye to you today was the hardest thing I have ever done. I just can’t believe you’re gone. No more coffees and chats. No more dinners at DeLucca’s or D’s Wings. It isn’t fair! No more of your infamous snark and wit. For over half my life, you have been a major part. I make this promise to you, sir. I will keep living. I will look after your family. I will finish that novel, and, like it or not, you will receive a dedication! I love you, and I can honestly say I have never had a friend like you, nor will I ever again. Thank you, sir, for a lifetime of hilarious memories. Thank you for introducing me to Jesus and all of our dear friends. Thank you for always believing in me and for choosing to call me friend. I will not say goodbye. I cannot. Instead, I will employ one of your favorite lines of old, “It’s been real, it’s been fun, and at times it was really funny.”

I will see you later, my friend. "A friend loveth at all times..." Proverbs 17:17

Whistling Tea Kettles and Popcorn

It was June of 1986. I was a high school graduate. My future was brighter than ever, and I was ready to take on the world. I was eighteen years old, and I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to be a music teacher. I was intelligent, motivated, and had all the makings of a true success story. “Local tuba student plays Carnegie Hall!” I had a PLAN! MY plan! It was a brilliant plan. I couldn’t wait for fall to arrive so I could begin my studies at the University of South Carolina, which I was attending on, ahem, a FULL music scholarship.

Fast forward one year. It is now 1987. I no longer want to be a music teacher. I dropped out of college, lost all scholarship funding, and began taking classes at the local Technical College (where, ironically, I now teach). Twelve years, three kids, two states, and three colleges later, I earned my Bachelors Degree in Biblical Studies from Southeastern Baptist College in Wake Forest, NC. My plan, which was doomed from the start, became God’s plan, and worked out far better. I still had much to learn…much, much more to learn. I have since pastored three churches, rediscovered a passion for writing, watched my children grow up, finally became a teacher, married the love of my life, and somehow made it to 45! It was not an easy journey, me being stiff-necked and all, but it is a huge milestone for me.

Even though I still have much to learn, I believe I have learned (the hard way) a few life lessons I would like to share.  These are all born out of mistakes, poor choices, and total flops on my part, lest you think I fancy myself a guru or so called “life coach.” I am neither. Here goes:

Lesson One: God’s Grace is built into everything!

That sounds like an obvious statement. It is. When you have lived a solid, well-balanced life, you may not see grace as clearly as someone like me. I have messed up pretty badly over the years. In Luke 7:40-43, Jesus tells of two men who owed debts. One owed five-hundred denarii (five hundred days pay), and the other owed fifty. When both men were completely forgiven their respective debts, Jesus asked, “Which one loved the moneylender more?” The obvious answer was the one who had the largest debt forgiven. That's me! Some sing “Amazing Grace” out of habit, while others of us sing it through tears. The reason? At our very worst moments, God’s grace is there, and it is always sufficient. It didn’t always feel like it, to be sure. There were times when I was convinced that God had long given up on me. I was wrong. Over the years, I have seen our gracious God love me when no one else would or could. Maybe you have been there, too. On the authority of God’s word, I assure you that no matter how dark your life has been or might be right now, there is no place on this earth where God’s grace cannot reach you! That’s why we call it “amazing;” grace is built in to everything God does or says. If only we would learn to treat one another that way!

Lesson Two: True ministry begins at home

Like most young pastors, I had aspirations of building a great church, serving as President of the SBC, and maybe having a theme park named for me. In my quest to change the world for Christ, I often neglected the spiritual growth and nurture of my family. That is not to say I didn’t have family devotionals and say prayers with the kids every night. I did that much. What I didn’t do is far worse.

This is hard to admit, but, the man I was at home and the man I was at church were not often the same person. I talked the talk, but failed to walk the walk at home where it mattered most. After a long day of putting on my pastor face for the rest of the world, I was too tired to shepherd my very own flesh and blood flock. The church had my best, and my family had what was left. There is so much I wish I could do differently, but Dr. Jay Strack once reminded me that, “It’s not how you start, but how you finish that counts.” It is never too late to start doing things God’s way.

Lesson Three: The Little Things Really Do Matter

A smile; a card; a letter (yes…snail mail); a phone call; a text; being on time; doing what you say you will do; holding the car door for your spouse; eating dinner together; showing affection; saying “I love you;” meeting for coffee; walking in the park; watching the sun rise/set; compliments freely given; spending quality time; snuggling; tickling; laughing out loud; playing board games; talking about deeper subjects; remembering loved ones; the list could go on and on. The bottom line is that the little things in life really do matter.

I am not the world’s best at this one. I am a “big picture” thinker. I look at life in terms of the bigger cause and effect of it all. I don’t sweat the small stuff. My wife Laura is diametrically opposite. I find myself amazed at the little things that excite her. The whistling of the tea kettle always makes her smile, for example. She also lights up at the popcorn popping out of our air popper. Little things. They matter. I will admit that I don’t see the excitement of the popcorn popper and tea kettle. I sure do love to watch Laura take it all in, though. A pastor friend once encouraged me to, “celebrate the small things!” Pop some popcorn and watch it pop. Make some tea. Call someone you haven’t talked to in awhile. Then celebrate! Yes, celebrate it! 

Lesson Four: You Don’t Have to Have All the Answers

One week ago today, a gunman walked into an elementary school in Newtown, CT and murdered children and adults before taking his own life. Tragedies like this one cause us to pause and reflect and try to sort it out and answer the ever-elusive, “Why?” People also like to use the aftermath of calamity to champion their various opinions and causes. When the dust settles, we still don’t know anymore than we did. That’s okay. We don’t have to. We are not meant to. The Bible spells this out clearly, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9 NASB)” I don’t know about you, but it is quite a relief off of my shoulders that I really don’t have to have all the answers, all the time.

I once ministered to a family whose thirteen year old daughter was killed in an auto accident. She was the only one of four in the car who was sober and wearing a seatbelt. She was also the only one who died. I went to the family after hearing the news. On the way there, I prayed that God would give me something to say to encourage them. He gave me the same scripture verse many have been using in light of the Connecticut tragedy, Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.” Sounded good to me. I went in, armed and ready to comfort the family.

Then the hard questions began to fly. “Why did this have to happen?” “What is God’s purpose for taking our daughter?” No doubt we have all been asking the same questions this week thinking of twenty children gunned down by a murderer. I had to look these grieving folks in the eye and say, “I just don’t know.” I didn’t know then, and I really don’t know now. I just know what God’s word tells me. The rest is not for me (or you) to know just yet. We must face the truth that on this side of eternity, we will not have all the answers. The good news is that this is okay. The family was grateful to me for just being there and loving them. Sometimes that is all we have to offer, and it is enough.

How about a cup of tea and some popcorn?

Lesson Learned, Value Added

As I write this post, I am at a new place in my psyche. I have been taking stock for the last year. Asking myself this question: How did I end up here? “Here” is not a pretty picture in some ways. As I write, I am 44, broke, twice divorced, and alienated from my two daughters. Now, to be fair, it’s not ALL bad. I am happily remarried to the most amazing woman I have ever known. For the first time in 25 years, I am happy and hopeful. I am moving forward. I have learned, however, that in order to move forward, it is good for me to know what I have done wrong, and look backward, so as not to repeat any mistakes. That is very good for me because I have made some big ones. My many mistakes all stem from a lesson I learned very early in life. I now know that the lesson I learned was wrong in so many ways. Yet, it has defined my entire existence until now. I have burned some very good bridges and lost many wonderful friends because of this one lesson I learned as a young boy. 

This lesson shaped my philosophy in life for thirty-four years. This lesson was taught to me by the most influential people in my life at that time, my parents. I’m not blaming them, mind you. At the time, it was what was working for them. No, my mistakes are MY fault and MY responsibility. It was this lesson that caused me to make the choices I made, not my parents. My father died with nothing to his name because of this lesson. My mother is not the same angry person she was back then. She is happier now and enjoying her life. I’m so glad. However, the lesson still resides beneath the surface and rears itself now and again in her words. My mother spoke the words of the lesson to me as a young boy, and my father lived the lesson by example.


So what was this lesson which so shaped my early philosophy and habits? Here it is: “Todd, no matter what, you always have to look out for number one.”


There are the thirteen words that were ingrained into my impressionable mind, and spoken to me by a woman who had been married for seventeen years to an undependable alcoholic. She was bitter when she said that; I understand that now. She meant well; I really do believe that. She had been hurt by someone she trusted and depended on. He failed her. He failed us all. She was forced into a place where her only defense was to depend on herself and not my father or ANY man. As I said earlier, I am not blaming her. I understand her now more than I EVER did.


I did take the lesson to heart those thirty-four years ago. Put yourself first. That is really easy to do, especially for a child. Me first, everyone else second. I will spare you the detailing and outlining of the many mistakes I've made and the many people I have disappointed and hurt through the years. The list would fill volumes. Suffice it to say, I am now reaping what I have sown. Big time. I had it coming, though.


I do not recall the exact moment, but I know it was recent. In this moment, I was brought face to face with all the damage I have caused by putting myself first and everyone else second.  Fortunately, there is another lesson I learned much later in life: It’s not how you start, but how you finish that matters most. The last ten years have been the most difficult. I caused a lot of it. I reacted badly. I was hurt badly. I became bitter. Being hurt is inevitable. Being miserable is a personal choice. In choosing misery, I alienated many people, including my children and my lifelong best friend. Having that mirror held to your face is more humbling than I can express in words. I will simply leave it at that. To write it all out would fill more volumes.


I have been on the road to redemption this year. Redemption has not been without its challenges. I remarried way over my head to a woman who was sent straight to me from Heaven! I have never been happier! Laura makes me want to be a better man. A few weeks ago, during a routine CT scan, cancer was discovered on Laura’s right kidney. The pain was on her left side. The surgeon said that the unrelated pain on the left side that she was being seen for had saved her life! It was a very deadly cancer and it was spreading fast. They were thankfully able to remove all of it. My own health has been an issue as well. Financially, this has been my most difficult year ever. We are not destitute. We are just broke. Too much month left at the end of the money. We are working on a strict budget and plan that I believe will help us make it.


I have never been more motivated to make some big changes. The late Jim Rohn said that, “Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” I have really taken these words to heart. You see, I can name many other times where motivation was not lacking, but new habits were. So I have made a commitment to the Lord, my wife, and my children to change some things for the better. For me, this began with some deep, serious soul searching. The first and most important change I have made is in my philosophy of life. It can no longer be all about me. I want to live for others. My hero, the late Bruce Lee said that, “Real living is living for others.” I want that real living! My ultimate Hero, the Lord Jesus, says, "I came that you might have life, and have it more abundantly." I want that too!


I receive a daily email called, “A Minute with Maxwell,” which is put out by John Maxwell, another of my life heroes. In these emails, he always concludes by asking us to share his videos so that they can “add value” to others’ lives. That expression, adding value to others’ lives, has been working its way through my soul. You see, for many years, I proceeded with the philosophy that others added value to MY life. I now believe that was wrong. Now I want to turn it around and find ways to express this concept of adding value to others everywhere I go, and starting at home. There are a number of things that I am doing right now that I am really excited about. Laura and I are doing a couple of home-based business opportunities that we believe will not only help us improve our financial position, but will allow us to add value in others as well.


I am involved in a church for the first time in 4 years. I am not on staff. Not seeking to be. I am just trying to help wherever I can, using whatever gifts I have. I am still teaching at Midlands Technical College. I am back in school this fall to finish my Masters. Those are big external changes. The real change is coming through the practice of several small disciplines that I am trying to do every single day.


If you have been around me for awhile, you have heard all of this before. If you get really bored one day, read through some of my older blog posts. They are usually titled with words like Transitions, New Attitude, or New Beginnings. They were moments where motivation was in ample supply, but disciplines were grossly lacking. A Pastor friend and another of my life heroes, Mike Gonzalez, once told me that I was unwilling to pay the price for what I wanted, and that I had a “what’s in it for me” attitude. I didn’t listen to him back then. He was right though. I was too self-focused to listen to him. I was too self-focused in those days to listen to anyone. I sure don’t want to make that mistake again.


For the last ten years, I have been lazy in learning. I am just being a sponge these days. Reading, listening, pondering, and considering. Another of my favorite life heroes, Rick Stilwell, inspires me to read and grow. He is certainly one who adds value to others.


I am also making goals and seeing small results. Small victories are still victories. They are worth celebrating! Another of my life heroes, Pastor Shane Phillips, once told me to “always celebrate the small things.”


This brings us to today. Rodney Dangerfield summed up most of my life at the end of the movie, "Back to School." “Look out for number one, but don’t step in number two.” I stepped in it a lot over the last three decades. I really don’t want to anymore.


I am cleaning and polishing my shoes, and hopeful for a better tomorrow. I sincerely hope that whoever reads this gets something from it. If all you get is, “Hey, Todd, you were a JERK,” then I guess that is something!  I’m praying for all of you! Here’s to victory…every single day! Blessings!

Second Place Is NOT First Loser

Irving Berlin never learned to read or write music. He hummed or sang his songs to a secretary, who wrote them down in musical notation. His name was Helmy Kresa, a songwriter in his own right. Mr. Kresa's was the first published arrangement of "All of Me," written by Gerald Marks and Seymour Simons. Mr. Kresa composed the instrumental sound track for Martin Scorsese's film "Raging Bull" and, with Carroll Loveday, he wrote "That's My Desire," which Frankie Laine recorded. In 1926, Mr. Kresa began working for Mr. Berlin and eventually became the general professional manager of the Irving Berlin Music Company. Obviously, as a composer, he never reached the level of notoriety as his boss, though without his notations, there would be no songs like "White Christmas," "God Bless America," or "There's no business like show business." The question arises: would there even be an Irving Berlin without a Helmy Kresa?  

Here is another question, would you or I pursue great things knowing someone else would receive the credit? Could you be content with someone else receiving all the glory for YOUR hard work? Pride is running rampant in the world these days. Worldly accomplishments, position, financial status, talent, and looks are but a few areas where pride has taken deep roots. However, if someone has worked hard, paid their dues, mastered their destiny, surpassed their peers, and set a higher standard, should they not be allowed a little pride?  

For you and I who profess the Lord Jesus and call ourselves Christian, there is a different attitude which prevails: humility. "The Lord opposes the proud, and gives grace to the humble (Proverbs 3:34)." Humility is the opposite of pride in every sense of the word. The Lord actually opposes, or assumes a military position against, pride. What you and I have to determine for ourselves is whether we want to face the end of God's barrel. On the other hand, a humble attitude draws God's favor and the blessing of grace. 

Perhaps you have heard the story of the parishioner who received recognition for being the humblest man in the church? They gave him a pin to wear. The following Sunday he wore it and they took it away from him for being proud. One wonders sometimes if humility is like this. As soon as we think we are humble, we are not. 

Biblically speaking, personal humility carries the notion of lowering or abasing oneself in such a manner as to attain a place of lowliness. Perhaps the best way to understand humility is attempting to see ourselves through God’s eyes rather than our own. The noted preacher, Charles Spurgeon, defined humility as "making a right estimate of oneself." Another noted speaker stated that, "Humility is not denying the power or gifting you have, but admitting that the gifting is from God and the power comes through you and not from you." After World War II, Winston Churchill humbly commented that, "I was not the lion, but it fell to me to give the lion’s roar."

In our competitive culture fueled by reality television shows like “American Idol,” or “Food Network Star,” there is a push for each contestant to strive to be the greatest or best. In stark contrast, Jesus said that, “Whoever wishes to become great…must first be your servant (Matthew 20:26).” The concept of lowering oneself to serve others in order to become great is diametrically opposed to the world’s concept of greatness: winning at all costs. Jesus used the word, diakonos, which is translated as servant or minister. The English word "Deacon" comes from this word. A deacon is a servant in the local church. 

The word which the Apostle Paul uses for servant is another extraordinary word, huperetes, which means "under-rower." The apostle's analogy is in reference to ancient warships that were propelled by muscular men chained to their oars below deck. In their part of the ship one hears groaning, men laboring at the oars. It is not like the upper deck, wind-swept, sunlit and fragrant with ocean breeze. Those below deck typify servants, men and women who are unseen, without applause and who are dying to self. The real power of the boat is found below deck.  

This is the killing ground of ego. Self-centeredness dies at the oar. Pride perishes in the pain. It is also here, as huperetes, that one experiences power as a steward of the mysteries of God (see Col. 4:1-3). The death to self that Scripture demands is achieved by surrendering the ego to God. Undergoing tragedy is not necessary to experience this blessed death to self, however self-surrender is.  

If you want real power in your Christian life, seek the same death for which Paul shouted his joy: "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me" (Gal. 2:20). As you serve others, may you find yourself on the upper deck, clothed in the humility of Jesus, swept clean by the wind of the Holy Spirit and able to impart the glory of God to everyone around you.  

When I was a child, I remember being a fan of Batman and Captain Kirk. Somehow during play, I always ended up being Robin or Mr. Spock, the sidekicks and subordinates. In third grade, I came in second place in my local Pinewood Derby. Other kids would tell me that “second place is first loser.” As joint heirs with Jesus, we are convinced that second place is really the best place to be.

The Hole Truth

It was dark and cold in that hole. In reality, the hole was not that deep. However, to a four year old kid, it might as well have been an abyss. I was the four year old kid, and I cannot remember ever being anymore afraid in my life. There was some construction being done in front of our house, and right outside the front door was a hole that was around six feet wide, four feet across, and maybe five feet deep. I had just finished breakfast, and my mom announced that we were going shopping. I remember being very excited (ironically, I despise shopping now), leaping to my feet and running out the door. The next thing I remember is being at the bottom of the construction hole, terrified and screaming. Within seconds, I saw my mom’s hand, grabbed it, and was returned to safety. Had I waited two more seconds before running out the front door, I would have heard mom instruct me that we were going to go out through the garage because of the large hole by the front door.

Whoops.

            I was excited, envisioned a store full of toys, and I jumped the gun. After jumping the gun, I landed in a deep, dark hole of my own impatience. First of all, mom never said we were going TOY shopping. I heard what I wanted to hear. Secondly, by failing to wait and listen to ALL of the instructions, I had sacrificed safety and security. I learned a very important spiritual lesson that day: wait for instructions before running ahead.

            Oh, that we would learn to wait on the Lord before we run ahead of His will! The Bible uses the word wait over 160 times. One of the important exhortations of the Bible is the call to “wait on the Lord.” Even though God promises special blessing for waiting, waiting is one of the most difficult exhortations of Scripture. Why is it so hard? For one thing, we are programmed to take matters into our own hands in today’s society. The world exhorts us to create our own destinies. Yet, over and over again we are told in Scripture “wait on the Lord.”

            So why should we wait? Scripture gives us at least two reasons to wait on the Lord.

Because of What He Can Do

            David very briefly summarizes this thought for us, “And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You (Psalm 39:7).”  There is a sense of dependent expectation in David’s statement. We get the idea that David is convinced that God is going to do what only God can do, and doesn’t need his help to do so. My children used to believe I could do anything. One time we were driving home after dark when suddenly a streetlight went out. My then two year old son simply said, “Dad’ll fix it.” Why is it so hard for us to believe in God that way?

            Having financial problems? Dad’ll fix it.

            Having marriage problems? Dad’ll fix it.

            Having health problems? Dad’ll fix it. You get the point.

            Dear friend, if I have learned anything in my life it is that God doesn’t need my help to be God. Oh, I have tried to help Him from time to time. I have run ahead when He said to wait. When I do, I always end up in a deep, dark hole of blunder. The good news is that God is always there to pull me out of the hole. Always!

Because of What We Cannot Do

            We also wait on the Lord because we cannot do what He can do. Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that SEEMS right to a man, but in the end it leads to death (emphasis mine).” Jeremiah 10:23 states that, “O Lord, I know that the way of man is not in himself, it is not in man who walks to direct his way.” Let’s face it, we may be educated and experienced, but we can never exceed God’s power or outdo His capabilities. He holds the universe in the palm of His hand, and I have been falling into holes for forty years. I can’t fix my life. I don’t have the power. Neither do you.

            Like everyone else, the economy has been hard on my family. I have been working two jobs to do what I can and occasionally applying for bigger, better jobs. My two jobs are by no means glamorous or high-paying, but they do allow me time to be with my wife and my church. Recently, I was offered a job at a large company. Better pay, good benefits, and all the trimmings. Here is the rub: it was a third shift job, and I would no longer be able to spend evenings with Laura or be involved in our church.

            What did I do? Pray about it? Wait on the Lord? Of course not! I took the job. After all, God wants me to have a better income for my family, right? Maybe. Maybe not. What I know for certain is that God wanted me to wait…again. And I jumped the gun…again. After two nights of misery and loneliness from being away from my wife and church, I was in yet another hole. I didn’t see a way out. Two hours before my third night on the job, I received a call saying that the company had over hired and that I would be called when I was needed. My other jobs still needed me, so I didn’t even miss a day of pay! From the hole, God reached in His hand, pulled me out, dusted me off, and reminded me, “Be still, and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).”

            There is still more month at the end of the money, but it is comforting to know that my God still supplies all my needs according to HIS riches and glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). Not my riches and glory; His riches and glory. I cannot provide what He can provide, and I cannot give what He can give. He is God, I am not. Neither are you. Trust Him! Wait for Him!

            There is a reward for waiting. Isaiah 40:31 promises us that, “They who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” 

            Friend, I don’t know what you may be going through at the moment, but whatever it is the challenge of Scripture is to wait on the Lord. He is God and we are not. Take care not to jump ahead of Him and His promises, lest you wind up in a deep, dark hole. Be encouraged today, because the sovereign Lord of the universe loves us with a steadfast love and personally cares for us like a father.

             As David wrote in Psalm 103:13-19, “Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust. As for man, his days are like grass; as a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more; and its place acknowledges it no longer. But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep His covenant, and who remember His precepts to do them. The LORD has established His throne in the heavens; and His sovereignty rules over all.”

Guest blogger: Dr. Tobin Chase

I have been extremely busy with work and interviewing printers for my "I Survived My Facebook Fast" t-shirts. Since I haven't had much time for blogging, I have invited a good friend and fellow writer, Dr. Tobin Chase, to share with us. -- Todd

My fellow Americans and people of Mother Earth, what in the wide world of sports is wrong with you???

Two days ago, North Carolina poo-pooed on Gay Marriages and Civil Unions. A lot of people are pissed about this. Mostly gay ones.

Before I continue, I think you need to know that I, myself, am not gay. If a dude looked like George Clooney with legs like Katie Couric, maybe. I don't know. He would have to be filthy rich, too. Cigarettes aren't getting any cheaper.

So why all the uproar? Gay people want to get legally hitched. So what??? The religious community has erupted in a mass of malcontent. People of Gawd, listen to me. Gay people are not asking you to rewrite Scripture. They are not asking to get into Heaven. They just want to have the legal right to wed like everyone else. If history has proven anything, it's that bigoted people always get pissed anytime some group other than white preachers and politicians want anything! (I'm not white, by the way, this is just a birthmark)

They made black people eat somewhere else, ride the back of the bus, and use separate bathrooms. They didn't want women to have an identity outside of the one they gave them. They massacred Jews. They scalped gays in college (Mitt Romney). Now they want to cry foul because gay people want to get married. Why are we singling out homosexuals this way? Because it's a sin? So is lying. Liars can no longer get married, then. Watch the divorce rate go up even more on that one! 

Imagine standing at the pearly gates waiting to get into Heaven. Saint Peter looks at you and says, "So...you have committed nearly every sin in the book. Your sin record is long and vile. Why should I let you in?"

You reply, humbly, "Well...I'm not a homosexual."

Saint Peter says, "Well come on in then!"

Preposterous. It's not like that, people.Sin is sin. Why do you champion some (greed, gluttony, bigotry, gossip, lying), and condemn others (homosexuality, pole-dancing)? It makes no sense, and frankly, makes you all look like morons. If you want to be taken seriously, start making frigging sense. That one is free.

Child molesters can get married. Why can't homos? What are you afraid of? You're afraid they're going to ask your church to marry them? God help us, you might have to sit by them!! This is not a church or even a Bible issue folks, it's an America issue. If we don't let these people get married, then we need to rewrite the Constitution, not the Bible. Just throw "inalienable human rights" out with the dirty bath water, and put the Iron Curtain back up.

They just want to get married, people. Not to you. Not to me. To each other. That's all they want.I doubt they would ask your preacher to marry them. They can get a Notary Public or someone at the courthouse. Relax...

Oh yeah, and in this midst of all this hoopla, President Obama "comes out" and says he now supports Gay Marriage, curiously close to the election, which he just might lose. Oh no! God help us! The sanctity of marriage is now at stake! People, you haven't believed a word this man has said since he took office. NOW you choose to believe him??? Why??? I'll tell you why. Because the media wants you to.

Here's a newsflash: you have a brain. Start using it. Stop letting the media do your thinking for you and think for yourself for a change. You just might like it. I do. It makes me tingle. Here's another newsflash (and you may want to sit down for this one): politicians will say ANYTHING to get elected. They always have, and they always will. Obama may actually be totally opposed to gay marriage, but if it will get him re-elected, he will publicly support it. Hell, so would I! So would YOU!  It's not about right or wrong in politics. It's about winning the blankety-blank election! Politicians don't care if gay people get married; they don't care if you have a job or benefits; they only care if they can champion your misery in order to get re-elected. Wake up and smell the political b.s., America. Use your frigging noggins! After you elect these people, they stop caring about you. They don't need you anymore. They tricked you, They won. I'm giving you pearls here, people.

My friend, and the kindly owner of this blog talks a lot about grace on here. I am not a believer, personally, but I do believe that Christians ought to be the nicest people in this gay marriage ordeal or any public ordeal. Otherwise what you believe is b.s., and I already think it is just by the way you people act. Recent events being no exception.

Todd knows where I stand, and now you do too.

I write because I can,

T. Chase

Facebook fast, Day 20

Has it already been 20 days? I have hardly noticed. I was tempted to get on this past week because I needed to reach a couple of folks to get their mailing addresses. It can wait 10 more days.

This time off has really been nice. I miss the professional connections, but I'm sure they will be there when I come back. I am also looking forward to "seeing" my friends again.

Right now I am gearing up for final exams for my students, reading their papers, and looking forward to my summer class. It's hard to believe I have been teaching for 2 years now. I absolutely love it.

I will also be resuming my own studies this summer. I am looking forward to it.